Our beliefs around discipline have been shaped by our culture, the attitudes of those around us, how we were raised, even our current stress levels. Like any parenting decision – from whether to sleep train to the dilemma of screen time – how we discipline (or "teach") our children is deeply personal. "Parents say, 'Parents should be good disciplinarians.' We go, 'Yes – and a disciplinarian is a teacher.'" He points out that the word "discipline" comes from the Latin word disciplina – which means instruction or teaching. ![]() "The word 'discipline' has been misconstrued as 'punishment', meaning inflicting pain as a consequence of doing something," says Dan Siegel, clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the author of six books on parenting, including No-Drama Discipline. Do you give a time out? Threaten to take away privileges? Negotiate? Or do you follow the approach being promulgated by an increasing number of advocates, which holds that connecting with a child in their moment of distress, not punishing them, leads to calmer, better-behaved, and emotionally more in-tune kids? If the frustration of the moment itself weren’t enough, there’s the difficulty of how to respond. Your 12-year-old refuses to set the table, storming off to her room and slamming the door.Īsk any parent, and they’ll tell you that dealing with situations like these can be among the most challenging – and common – parts of parenting. Your pre-schooler needles you at the store, whining that he really wants that sweet. ![]() Your toddler smacks another child at play group, upset that she won't share her toy.
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